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The New Cool: Mock a Brahmin, Bash a Hindu, Roast a Vegan, and Cancel Mother Earth

HHR March 28, 2025 Analysis/Insights, Archives, Global Hindus, Hinduphobia, News updates, Spirituality/Culture, World Focus No Comments

In today’s enlightened world—where logic gets a daily beatdown and outrage is currency—we’ve discovered the ultimate progressive hobby: punching down while pretending to punch up. You see, nothing screams “revolutionary” like mocking spiritual traditions you don’t understand, stereotyping entire communities, and calling centuries old eco wisdom “casteist propaganda.”

Let’s take a whirlwind tour of the most fashionable phobias of our times.

Brahminphobia: Because Who Needs Nuance?

Apparently, Brahmins are now the universal scapegoats. Did your sourdough starter die? Blame Brahminical patriarchy. Bad Tinder date? Definitely systemic Brahminism. Never mind that Brahmins today might be broke, jobless, or writing Sanskrit poetry no one reads—they must be collectively punished for the sins of the Manusmriti (which, let’s be honest, no one has actually read).

Sarcastically painted as gatekeepers of oppression, Brahmins are now the enemy of choice for a new-age moral brigade that mistakes memes for Marxist analysis. Forget personal accountability; historical guilt is all the rage, and nuance is so last century.

Hinduphobia: Exoticize, Then Demonize

Ah, Hinduism—the religion that gave the world yoga, Ayurveda, and the concept of non-violence—is now rebranded by Twitter scholars as a fascist cult with cow fetishes. Want to seem edgy at brunch? Drop a hot take on “caste cows curry.” Don’t bother with context or complexity. All 1.2 billion Hindus are obviously part of a global conspiracy to ruin your weekend steak.

Never mind that sacred ecology, pluralism, and cosmic oneness are core to the tradition—if it doesn’t fit your colonial binary of ‘oppressor vs oppressed,’ it’s probably saffron terror.

Vegaphobia: How Dare You Not Eat Bacon?

Then there’s the culinary war zone. Nothing infuriates people more than someone not eating animals. In fact, vegans and vegetarians are now public enemy number one. They’re labeled as smug, privileged, and God forbid, concerned about animals and the planet. How dare they?

In India, it gets spicier. The moment someone promotes a plant-based diet, a well-meaning activist armed with a Twitter thread and zero understanding of dharmic food ethics shouts, “BRAHMINICAL DIETARY FASCISM!” Because clearly, eating lentils is violence, but industrial slaughterhouses are symbols of culinary freedom. The irony could choke a buffalo.

Anti-Eco Activism: The Planet Can Wait, I’m Offended

And then we arrive at the latest form of rebellion: trashing environmental activism if it comes from the wrong skin tone, caste, or spiritual lineage. It doesn’t matter that Eastern philosophies have lived in ecological balance for millennia. If a monk with a japa mala dares to speak about sustainability, he must be canceled. Why? Because eco-consciousness from a Hindu is obviously oppressive.

Meanwhile, the same folks will post Greta Thunberg quotes on Instagram while sipping almond milk in plastic cups. Because when it’s imported, it’s activism. When it’s indigenous, it’s hegemony.

Welcome to the Circus of Contradictions

So here we are in a golden age of selective outrage. Where:

Stereotyping Brahmins is progressive, but calling out hypocrisy is “tone-deaf.”

Mocking Hindus is secularism, but mentioning Christ in vain is hate speech.

Eating plants is violence, but eating sentient beings is liberation.

Sacred ecology is oppression, but petroleum-funded protests are noble.

We’ve turned wisdom into a punchline, tradition into a target, and spiritual seekers into ideological fodder. All in the name of justice.

Time to Flip the Script?

If we’re serious about justice, maybe we need a little less sarcasm and a lot more self-reflection (ironic, coming from a sarcastic blog, but stay with me). Maybe, just maybe, we can stop using anti-caste, anti-religious, anti-everything rhetoric as a cover for intellectual laziness and cultural illiteracy.

Maybe the Vedic rishis, the barefoot sadhus, the cow protectors, and the lentil-loving grandmothers were onto something. Maybe true progress lies not in rejecting roots but in deepening them.

Because the future won’t be saved by soundbites and social media shaming. It’ll be saved by those who live lightly, think deeply, and respect diversity not just the kind that trends online.

So go ahead. Light a diya, eat some sabzi, hug a tree, and try not to offend yourself.